Blog Archives

Friendly Friday

Posted on May 11, 2012 by sheryl

Expand the “WINDOW OF TIME” to heal.

In spite of the corporate “3-day-bereavement leave” it takes more than three days to recover from the loss of a loved one.  Other cultures expect the surviving partner to wear black for two to three years after a death.  They understand that grief isn’t simple.

In the last century, people went to “sanatoriums” for several months following what they called a nervous breakdown to sit in the sun, rest, read, and recover.

Trauma rarely heals on its own, and definitely doesn’t heal in a day or even three days.

Time and Space
Today, create the space in time you need for your recovery,
because
You can heal in your own time in your own way.  How about today?

Posted in Accidents, Friendly Friday, PTSD, Trauma | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Avoiding Burn-out

Posted on December 7, 2011 by sheryl

We’ve all all had those days when there’s a small voice in the back of our heads that says, “Here’s a quarter, please go call someone who cares.” At that moment you get it that unconditional positive regard doesn’t live in your chair anymore. Here’s some tips to help recover your energy, your love of your work, and your own unconditional positive regard – for yourself.

Tip #1: Give your attention to your own physical well-being. Stretch between clients, jog in place. Try the Cat Response. You know, when the cat gets up from her chair where she’s been for a while, the first thing she does is yawn, stretch, not in any particular way, although there is a yoga stretch is called cat stretch and downward dog. You sit still for 6-8 hours a day, discover ways to move that just feels good.

Tip #2: Give your attention to your own emotional well-being. You’ve spent your day listening. A few minutes at the end of your day to practice mindfulness can be very powerful. Breathing to quiet your mind and your internal emotional cocktail. Take the names of each person you saw today, or any other person that comes to mind. In your imagination, see yourself standing near a brook. Write the name of that person on a leaf, if you have a prayer practice, invite the Divine to bless that particular person/problem, and with that blessing, release the leaf onto the water, and watch it float downstream. Continue with each person until all that concerns you has been released, just for now.

Tip #3: Give your attention to your own mental well-being. Many of us have a job that engages our mental acuity constantly. The tip here is to find things that suit you that either quiet that mental chatter, like a mindfullness, or puts it into a hypnotic state, like TV, computer games. Some folks also find release in hobby type experiences that bring them into flow, that state where time stops and the moment consumes your attention. I’ve inserted a 15-20 minutes island in my day when I first get home, before preparing my dinner when I just sit with a glass of  wonderful cup of tea and watch the clouds go by – my own puppy-on-the-couch moment when I intentionally accomplish nothing, think about nothing, solve nothing.

Tip #4: Give your attention to your own spiritual well-being.  If you have a religious or spiritual practice, make sure that daily (2-5 minutes, even as you fall asleep) you turn your attention toward that focus.  If you don’t have any particular practice, use a few minutes at the beginning or end of your day to do something that brings your focus outside of your inner world – enjoy a moment in nature, connect with a pet, close your eyes and list the parts of your day you are particularly grateful for, enjoy music.  Even just focusing on your breath can quiet the monkey mind and give you some peace.

Posted in Create your Business, Just Stuck | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Are your Dreams On-Purpose?

Posted on July 20, 2011 by sheryl

Stress hurtsThere are many theories about the sources and causes of stress and/or burnout. I propose that underneath all those ideas is a systemic disconnect between one’s strengths and ones dreams. Any combination other than being connected and acting from strengths as well as keeping a conscious focus on dreams can create the symptoms of stress and lead to burnout. The most disastrous is the state of being out of touch with one’s dreams and working from ones’ weaknesses.

When I talk about being out of touch with dreams, I’m looking at the place in your life, often appearing at mid-life when your dreams of having a beautiful home, perfect children, loving and attentive spouse or of six figure income and international fame and instead you find yourself cleaning dirty toilets, drudging through boring projects at work, and dragging yourself to the movies because you just can’t think of anything else to do.

When one is also out of touch with operating from one’s strengths, the stress doubles or triples exponentially. When you find yourself working with people in, say a sales or customer service job, and your greatest strength is introspection and left-brain mathematical concepts, you may be working from weakness. On the other hand, if you’re highly social and love being with and interacting with people, and, you are in a cubicle all day updating spreadsheets or programming computers, you haven’t connected your purpose to your inherent strengths.

When one is off purpose with both dreams and strengths, stress burnout is inevitable. If stressYou can relax now is keeping you from your Big Dreams, here are a few tips for treating those symptoms and getting back on track:

  1. Add something beautiful to your life on a daily basis, such as flowers or music.
  2. Do some enjoyable activities whenever possible.
  3. Walk, work, and eat at a relaxed pace.
  4. Take a short break after meals to relax.
  5. If possible, go outside at least once per day and notice the simple things such as the weather or scenery.
  6. During the day, whenever you remember, notice any tension in your body (jaw, neck, shoulders). Breathe deeply and gently stretch and relax any tense areas.
  7. If you notice your mind racing or worrying about the past or future, take a minute to breathe deeply. Gently focus on something in the moment such as the feel of your breathing, the visual scenery, the sound of birds.
  8. Take breaks during the workday to relax.
    Wear comfortable and loose clothing when possible. Take off your shoes when you can.
  9. Avoid holding in feelings day after day. Instead, find a safe place to feel, express, and embrace them.
  10. ABOVE ALL, BE GENTLE AND PATIENT WITH YOURSELF. SOME PEOPLE FIND THEMSELVES FALLING BACK INTO EXCESSIVELY STRESSFUL HABITS FROM TIME TO TIME. THAT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL. SIMPLY NOTICE THAT CHANGE IN A NON-JUDGMENTAL WAY AND REFOCUS ON THE STRESS REDUCTION PRACTICES THAT WILL PROMOTE A HEALTHY WAY OF LIFE.

May this summer find you focused on those dreams, living from your strengths, and dancing.

Posted in Create your Career, Frozen in Fear | Tagged , | Leave a comment

FIVE TIPS FOR BURN-OUT THREAT

Posted on April 13, 2011 by sheryl

Last week, we chatted about whether that burn-out feeling is you or the job. What if you determine that the job is still exactly what you had signed up for several years ago, but you have changed. Sometimes it is you that needs to add some de-stressing resources to your bag of tricks. As the economy has gotten leaner and meaner, many people, both employees and business owners are trying to do more with less support. If you’re a counselor in an agency, you may find that your case load has remained the same, but the reporting demands have grown, and the staff meeting requirements have also grown. If you’re a business owner, you may have attempted to manage your own marketing activities, blogging, working with social media, attending networking events on your evenings and on your “day off”.

  1. Set non-negotiable boundaries for yourself. These may sound like “Work a 45 hour week most weeks, keeping those 45 hours in a five day work week.” If you’re employed and your work load has gotten out of hand, determine with your manager exactly which tasks have top priority and which can be let go when those 45 hours are filled. If your are running your own business, decide what tasks are mission critical, and which ones might be done with less than perfection, which ones might be delegated, and which ones really don’t need to be completed this quarter.
  2. Track for yourself when are your most productive hours for which tasks. I have a friend who is an artist. She has discovered that her most creative hours are mornings from 10-1, and late afternoons from 4-6. She organizes her day around those hours. When are you most effective at writing case notes or project reports? When are you most effective as a presenter?
  3.  If you must work during your personal unproductive hours, try one of these two strategies to help you be effective even in your “off” hours:
  • Take a quick, brisk walk around the building, breathing deeply – or do jumping jacks in your office, anything to get your heart working, your lungs working, and getting oxygen up to that tired brain of yours

OR

  • Take a meditation moment, sit quietly, breathing comfortably, progressively relaxing each part of your body, top to bottom with each out breath. Download, if you’d like a simple guided meditation from (OPL free gift) – it’s an MP3 file of only 3 minutes to support your resistance to burning out. The link is just to the right.

If you have any additional tips to help avoid burn-out, please share them here.

Posted in Just Stuck | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment