Blog Archives

Good Grief, Charlie Brown

Posted on October 5, 2011 by sheryl

What’s the difference between “good grief” and a pity party? As a business decision, I closed my massage practice of 17 years last week. I knew it was the right decision, but I’ve been grieving the loss of my connection to many wonderful people, and my chance to contribute to their lives.

I really wanted to avoid the pity party, but in doing so, I also ignored a very real emotion that was welling up, and I found myself with a lump in my throat that I even tried to imagine was a cold coming on!

“Good Grief” for me this week is self-care:

  1. Crying when I need to
  2. Sleeping when I want to
  3. Staying in meditation as long as I can
  4. Allowing a wound to heal

It made me think, that if I were cut, I’d take care of the wound, keep it clean, keep it safe from any further tearing, and spend very little time in a pity party. I’m learning a lot about good grief.

What resources do you use to give space for grief while honoring your own integrity and intention toward your future?

Posted in Business Strategy, Create your Business, Just Stuck, Law of Attraction | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Event + Response = Outcome

Posted on September 27, 2011 by sheryl

I’m in the creek, and I need a paddle. I’m up to my ankles in water actually, and having an interesting time with the response part of the formula.

Here’s my story. I had planned a delightful virtual birthday party with friends from all over the country. I purchased a lovely birthday bouquet of flowers and balloons to make the event festive, and showed up at my office, where I wanted to make that call at 9am, Sunday morning, 9/11/11. When I walked through the door, my toilet had malfunctioned, and had delivered gallons and gallons of clean water (thank goodness) to my office, to my neighbor’s office and to the courtyard out front.

Keeping my priorities straight, I continued with my friends, never letting them know that I was standing in water.  We had a wonderful virtual party, which I’m looking forward to doing again.

My insurance company has been wonderful (Hartford, if you need a good commercial policy), I’ll get a new carpet, freshly painted walls, new linoleum in the bathroom, a new toilet and a new start when the repairs are complete.  I’m choosing colors that match my branding and doing a lot of clearing out of old debris, both physical and emotional in the process.

What’s been interesting for me is how people are so sympathetic, so sorry, so eager to join what they assume is my own pity party, but, I’m just not there.

Yes, there were many intense hours, trying to salvage my furniture, files and equipment from damage, lining up contractors, evaluating my business vision going forward, and finding ways to meet the needs of my clients while I’m out of business.

The biggest gift is that I have to trust the universe to be orchestrating all that is needed to create the life of my dreams – a life that is full of opportunities to fulfill my mission which is to inspire and empower people to live from their deepest selves. Right now, the most important “people” I have to inspire and empower is me.

In retrospect, the events following my own private 9/11 are strangely shamanic, and, were I to describe each piece, it sounds like a dream with its own meaning.

What events in your life demanded a powerful response?  Is that response the one you really want to use to create the outcome you desire?  Sometimes a response is reactive and habitual as in “Why me, Lord?” “It can’t get worse than this, maybe I’ll quit my business” and, my personal best “#$%^@,   @#$%@,   &*@%#”  (of course anger and swearing help oh so little!).

Do leave a comment and let us know what events you have responded to recently and how that worked out for you.  I’m turning this birthday party turned pity party into my celebration party of a brand new beginning, care to join me?

Posted in Business Strategy, Create your Business, Law of Attraction | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

What is your Intention with your Hard Work?

Posted on June 9, 2011 by sheryl

I’ve learned an important lesson this quarter, and it’s about the action half of the Law of Attraction. I’ve always been a focused, hard worker – you know that “Protestant Work Ethic” idea? And I have a strong confidence in my own ability to do anything I set my mind to, and I pretty much always have done that (except for my forray into raising rabbits – I’ll talk about that next week).

The curse of being able to do a lot of stuff, like computer programming, sew clothing, can beans, grind wheat, make bread from scratch, clean house, create gardens, train dogs…..is that it just isn’t possible to enjoy all those things. I’m not a professional seamstress or a skilled web designer, but I often get myself caught in a “should” of since-I-know-how-to-do-that, I SHOULDN’T pay-someone-else syndrome.  I found an interesting quote this week that really caught my eye:

“Many high performers would rather do the wrong thing well than do the right thing poorly. And when they do find themselves in over their head, they’re often unwilling to admit it, even to themselves, and refuse to ask for the help they need.”

I’ve been stuck for the last several weeks, trying to do some wrong things, and struggling to do the right things poorly – and worse yet, not at all. Last week, I hired a professional to do some things that I don’t know how to do, but was confident that I could figure it out, and it’s an enormous relief to my schedule, to my creativity, and to my day.

What on earth have I been ‘thinking’ all these years? What are those things that you do very well and easily that bring juice to your day, and what are those things that you sort of can do that drain your energy – is it time to ask for help with those tasks?

Posted in Create your Business, Create your Career, Frozen in Fear, Just Stuck | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Timid or Careful?

Posted on March 29, 2011 by sheryl

A forty five year old software engineer finally found employment after being laid off for 18 months.  Her boss asks her to alter the financial reporting programs in a way that feels unethical to her.  She’s been on the job for only two months, and doesn’t know the hierarchy in her new company and if what she is being asked to do is consistent with company policy, or is being done on the Q-T. She decides to work slower than usual on the project while she does some canvassing to find out what the legitimacy of this request really is.  Is she being timid or careful?

A seventy year old woman with osteoporosis is walking across the street in the rain.  She feels unsure of her footing, and is walking slowly, and more stiffly than usual in an attempt to protect herself from falling.  Unfortunately, walking with this kind of tenseness increases her chances of losing her footing.  Would you say she’s being timid and/or careful?

An entrepreneur whose business has flat lined over the last 24 months is both pleased that she is weathering the recession and nervous that neither her profits nor her market share are growing.  She is contemplating a new social media marketing campaign the includes a new blog site, a new branding and new messaging to reach a more specific target market.  The cost of creating this move represents about 25% of her current profits.  She has had the proposal on her desk for three months now.  Is she being timid or careful?

A two year old intently leaves the security of her hold on the end table and teeters toward her mother, slowly and carefully.  Falls down, and tries again, holding onto that table for a little longer this time.  Is she timid or careful? And clearly determined and focused!

Interestingly, TIMID, CAREFUL, and stuck can all look the same.  How are you doing in your business this quarter? Timid, Careful, Stuck or Determined?

Posted in Create your Business, Just Stuck | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Is it Bliss or Blisters?

Posted on March 11, 2011 by sheryl

As you prepare your second quarter action plans, now might be a good time to observe if those plans represent a desire to follow your bliss or your blisters. Here are four tips to consider:
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Posted in Create your Business, Just Stuck | Tagged | 2 Comments

The Loud and Proud Counselor

Posted on October 16, 2010 by sheryl

I opened my private psychotherapy practice with great hope and desire to serve.  I love my work and believe that I am very good at what I do – create a session that is clearly all about the client.  When I work I have become very adept at making sure that any self disclosure is specifically chosen to support the path of my client.
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Posted in Create your Career | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Marketing for Introverts

Posted on July 1, 2010 by sheryl

You Might be an Introvert if….

If you’re a creative kind of person, chances are high that you’re also an introvert. On the Myers-Briggs assessment for personality styles, those who are introvert and intuitive are only 1% of the population, so that makes you very, very unique.  After all, to be creative, you must think outside the box, be different than those around you, and, oh yes, enjoy working alone in your studio or office. Because you’re in such a small group, demographically speaking, you probably haven’t seen any models for how to market your product or service in a way that draws on your strengths.
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Posted in Create your Business | Tagged , , | 2 Comments